"You don’t need to become someone else’s version of desirability to attract a compatible partner."

Uh, you need to be precisely that.

That someone else is the person you hope to attract. Of course a person needs to be their genuine self, but it starts with a look, and you won't often get a second one if you don't put your best foot forward by taking care of yourself, and basically being the best person you can be in most aspects of life.

That seems to be the message of the high-value gurus. Not every man can be the alpha male, but don't wear pajamas in public, for God's sake.

Telling people what they want to hear might get a lot of claps on Medium, but telling people that they shouldn't try to compete in what is plainly a competitive situation is just nonsense.