The Bangover diaries: Getting the JIF, Part I

The GFE, or Girl Friend Experience, is pretty much self-explanatory; likewise the PSE (Porn Star Experience) Both are common jargon in the hobby of whoring, along with a few others we’ll define in due time.

But, as Adventurers Par Excellance in the game of whoring, my chums and I have coined a few phrases of our own, and one is called the JIF, aka the Job Interview Fuck. It rates it’s own page or two, along with the diary of the trip to San Jose where it was discovered; as well as a couple of other techniques we use to insure customer satisfaction thrown in.

Getting the JIF takes a little skill, but if one wants to get the most fun from their whoring dollar, the JIF gambit eliminates at least some of the trial and error inherent in a new setting. Imagine if you will the following scenario:

You’re sipping on a drink in a known bawdy house, when a girl approaches, with something like Hi, you want company? To which you reply in the affirmative, if interested. She might ask your name, or where you’re from, and will slip in almost unnoticed a question about how long you’re going to be in town. No need to be standoffish, have a little fun and flirt with her, if she’s your style.

But, if she asks you to buy her a drink straight away, you should always make an excuse to say no, or that you’re getting ready to leave; She’s probably a hustler, and it’s her way of testing you to see how easily she can manipulate you.

If she moves on, congratulations, you’ve passed your first test, and likely dodged a bullet at the same time. If she decides to stay, enjoy her company, but on your terms. They know the game, chum, and the easy marks always get taken by the hustlers; Don’t be an easy mark. ‘Nuff said.

Back to the JIF. When the subject comes up during a conversation, never, ever tell them you’re only in town a day, or leaving tomorrow, true or no. The ones who care enough to ask usually aren’t just making conversation, they’re looking for repeat business, and you want to let them think that you’re a prospect. These are the women who will give you their wildest ride in the hope of earning your repeat business, hence the term, Job Interview Fuck (JIF)

They’re the ones that will make your trip, if you play your cards right. They will often ask about it in a roundabout way, and you shouldn’t ever disappoint them. If you’ve just arrived in town, that’s good; if you tell her you’ll be there for 3 or 4 more days, even better, because now she knows you’re worth the effort.

The hustlers will generally try to rush you into going upstairs quickly, and unless she’s one you have to have and you only want a quickie, these are usually the ones to avoid no matter how hot they are, because they’re generally the turn and burn types who will watch the clock, and immediately rush off after the deed is done.

I’m not one that likes to be rushed in any situation, and certainly not whilst interviewing a lady myself. And so, always be prepared with the standard brush off of, “Maybe Later” or better yet, “I’m waiting for another lady” which is actually the honest truth, when you think about it.

It’s also good practice for the habit of being in control, which is where a man should always be when dealing with a working girl, golden hearted, and otherwise. Some of these women, you see, actually hope to meet a husband, or more commonly to at least forget some of the harsh realities of the game with a nice young fellow like you, which also brings up the first rule of whoring.

Never, ever treat a woman like a whore, unless and until she acts like a whore.

Whores are women, after all, and they have their pride, as well as their dreams. They’ll generally treat you right if you treat them right, and the reward for telling them what they need to hear is the same as any other women, aside from the gratuity, of course. But, when a woman acts like a whore, get rid of her. You’ll be glad you did, and sorry if you don’t.

But this brings us to the second rule of whoring, which is….Never, ever forget that they’re whores.

You can be assured, rare is the whore who forgets that you’re a john. If you doubt me, just try to pay one less than the agreed upon price. But, the best experience is one where a man can forget that she’s a whore, and that you’re a john, if only for an hour or an evening.

It can happen if she too forgets; and nothing’s wrong with two consenting adults enjoying each other’s company with a dose of temporary amnesia. Afterward, though, don’t be surprised to see her leaving the bar with another fellow. Business is business, after all; and, a girl’s got to make a living.

While we’re at it, I should clarify that I’m not the kind of asshole that thinks all women are whores; far from it. I seek the company of whores to fill needs and desires I can’t fill elsewhere. You see, whores perform a necessary function for lonely, single men like me, as well as insatiable fellows like my wingman Alfredo, who has been (mostly) happily married for decades.

We whore because we’re horny old bastards who need variety and adventure, and the favors of hot young women fill the need. I make no excuses for my immorality. I don’t judge the women who sell their favors, and I refuse to be judged because I purchase them. It’s really not any more complicated than that.

The JIF, the GFE and the PSE all have their place, and any game worth playing is worth playing well because in my book, a man can never have too many women, or too good a time with them. And in this game, three is never a crowd, if you get my drift.

Continued…….